I recently found myself under-employed. I don't say unemployed because I always have several small jobs or projects on the side and I still have those. What I don't have is my main job. This gives me a lot of time in my day.
Most of that time, of course, is spent applying for jobs. And, let me just sidebar here quickly - isn't applying for jobs the worst? I mean, I spend all this time writing beautiful cover letters, adjusting my resume, searching for jobs, going through the often complicated online application process, and in MANY cases, I will never hear anything back. It's frustrating! I love the job posters who at least send you an automated email thanking you for applying. At least then I feel heard. If your company does not send one of these automated emails, get on it.
When searching for jobs, it is also interesting to me to read the full job descriptions. These are often soooo vague. In many cases, it is unclear what you will actually be doing during most of your day. I love the companies that say, here is what you will spend this percent of your time doing, this percent of your time doing, etc. That is a great tool to help someone understand what the bulk of their day will look like. Genius! For the other companies with just the vague descriptions, my question is this: How will anyone know if they are a great fit for your role? How will you get the actual person you want if you do not say more clearly what your goals are for the position?
Following the applying for jobs time, then there is a lot of time spent checking email to see if anyone has requested an interview. This is a grueling time. What if I never hear from anyone? Will I ever find a job again?
It does seem like there is just such a delay between applying for a job and actually getting an interview. I am assuming this is because they have a certain date when the job will close and they do not want to start interviewing applicants until after that date. Or they just are so busy they are just fitting interviews into an already tight schedule. Who knows.
Are you job-hunting? What is your experience like?
Finding Passion
When job-hunting, I am also researching companies and trying to decide if the values line up with my own. I also question if I will truly be happy in the role.
So, how do you know if you will be happy in a role? How do you know if working for this company will fit your needs and will help you engage with your passion?
I think of all the jobs I have had. How did I figure out I was passionate about them? I am not really sure, to be honest. I think I just loved the organization and wanted them to do well, so my brain adjusted to figuring out ways to help the organization excel. Then I was really focused on ways I could help my team or the organization.
But, is that really a true passion? Or is that just being good at your job?
I do think that being good at your job can turn into your passion. I just wonder which comes first - the job or the passion.
Right now, to be honest, I am not feeling super passionate about much. Full disclosure - I am also dealing with a sinus infection, which if you have ever had one, just drains you and makes you miserable because your head feels like it is going to explode.
I have been without a main job for like a week and I just feel drained. I feel passion-less. I feel disassociated with the world.
In some ways, I feel really invisible. I mean - our jobs make us visible, don't they? When you don't have a job - what are you?
My job was my identity. Have I now lost my identity? Or is it still there, just under the surface taking a break from life. Maybe we all need a break from life at some points. This is my break and I hope that I do take advantage of this break. I am trying to do my daily meditations and take walks. These are things I often let slide when I had a "real" job to go to, so in the end, maybe this break will eventually lead me to regain my passion, to find a better job, and to live a more balanced life. We can hope, right?